Tennessee & Beyond

Spring and I are getting pretty well settled here in Tennessee! Spring was able to quickly find a job, and one that she enjoys at that. That has been a huge blessing for us. Our ward has been nothing less than amazing. I don't think I've ever been invited to so many dinners! Spring received a calling as a Relief Society teacher our second Sunday in the ward and I got a call to be a Gospel Principles teacher and a Ward Missionary. Our callings have been challenging and rewarding (as are most callings). School is keeping me pretty busy. I love finally learning everything that will apply to what I want to do! On top of the school work I was voted as one of the two Honor Code Representatives for my class, was invited to represent my class during a Board of Visitor's Meeting by the Dean, and have been invited to become a Student Ambassador by the Admissions Committee. Oh, and on top of that they already have us out in the field working at pharmacies. It's been a great experience so far. The semester's already gone by so fast... Almost too fast!

Quick Update

We made it! We're finally in Tennessee! As a quick update, Spring and I got married in the San Diego temple July 11th. It was a beautiful day, albeit a little too windy for Spring's liking. We drove back up to Utah a few days later and packed all of our stuff into a 16 foot Penske truck. The next day we began our 2,000 mile move across country. We drove for about 10 hours a day for the first three days and our 4th and final day was only a 5 hour day. It is absolutely gorgeous where we live! Everything is a robust green. We have a little swing on our front porch which overlooks the rolling hills of the area. Our town would definitely be considered "country," which definitely adds to the beauty. We're only a minute or two from a couple food stores and Pizza Hut, Pappa John's, McDonald's, Taco Bell and Dairy Queen! So we have the sites of the country with the closeness to the "essentials" of a city. I'll be sure to post pictures soon, but for the time being we don't have internet at our apartment and have to come to the local library to use it. That's all for now. :)

Some Untouched Engagement Pictures

School is Out!

My last semester at Utah Valley State University has finally come to an end! I now have about a 3 month summer before I begin another 4 years of my doctorate program. There's so much to do in the next three months, but I'm looking forward to every minute detail of it! I get married on July 17th! We've only been engaged for a couple weeks, but most things seem to be taken care of already. Spring has already found her wedding dress! I think the last few things we need to get done in regards to the wedding are finding a tux for myself, taking reception photos and sending out wedding announcements. I am so looking forward to getting married in the temple. I'm grateful for the opportunity I have to be sealed for time and all eternity to the most amazing girl I've ever met. I do not know what, if anything, I have done to deserve someone of her magnitude. Whatever the case may be, it is my solemn pledge to work everyday to be worthy of her. It's difficult for anyone to truly comprehend "eternity," and I am no exception. Even so, may I be so bold as to suggest that eternity alone may not be long enough to spend with Spring? I am so grateful for the opportunity to create not just a family with her, but an eternal family. I have been taught from early on that families can be together forever. When your young it's difficult to comprehend a blessing of that magnitude. Heck, if you were anything like me as a kid, you may have cringed at the thought of spending more than 5 minutes with your family at some point, let alone being with them for forever. Thankfully, I have matured. I now realize the magnitude of such a blessing. I am grateful for the opportunity to be with my current family forever, and am all the more excited to create an eternal family of my own. Two blessings my fiance has blessed me with: A growing capacity for love and a growing desire to become more Christlike. So... pretty much I've found the perfect girl :)

On another note, I was reading and came across the following: [The Lord] doeth not anything save it be for the benefit of the world. I thought a lot about that. Certainly it is the Lord who bestows blessings upon us. In which case, how might our personal blessings "benefit the world"? My thought is that we do not possess sole ownership of our blessings. Heavenly Father expects the blessings he freely gives us to benefit those around us as well, thus benefiting the world. The blessings we receive should have a positive impact on those around us. We can provide positive impacts by doing something as small as smiling. Sometimes that's all it takes to change the mood of another.

I'm Engaged!!!

I suppose the best place to begin this blog is to say I'm marrying my dream girl. She's everything I could have hoped for, and so much more. As far as the engagement goes, I wanted to propose on Saturday the 25th. Spring (my fiance) I think was catching on that I was going to propose to her soon. To throw her off my scent I told her the fulfillment department of the ring store contacted me to tell me that there was a two week back order on the ring. The scent was lost! The weather reports weren't looking too good for the weekend. The last decent day weather wise was Thursday. On Wednesday I decided I was going to do it on Thursday. Wednesday night I went to see Spring's dad and asked permission to marry his daughter. He said yes! Thursday afternoon I took Spring up the canyon under the false pretenses of a hike. We walked a little ways to a spot where two little streams come together to become one. I told her that before we went any further I needed to tell her a story about these two little streams. I said, "These two little streams are cool all by themselves, but they wanted to be a part of something bigger and better so they came together. Now they're both apart of something bigger and better than anything they could have been on their own. We're both cool, you and I. I want to be apart of something bigger and better though. That something is being with you for all time and eternity. I want to learn with you. I want to grow with you. I want to grow closer to Heavenly Father as we both grow closer to one another." I then got down on one knee and asked her to marry me. She said yes! We're getting married July 17th in the San Diego temple. We're both ecstatic about everything! Here are some pictures:

The Two Little Streams




Where they converge









And this is where we'll be getting married!

Nodding Off

Making it to church has become somewhat of a struggle as of late. I no longer make my own schedule at work, and as a result I often find myself working the Saturday night shift from 10pm til 6am Sunday morning. Having church at 9 doesn't make it any easier. I have found out the hard way that should I attempt to catch a couple hours of sleep before church I won't wake up to my alarm, let alone make it to church. Instead I try to stay awake. By the time the 3 hour block is over I'll have usually been awake for 25+ hours. Staying awake in church under ideal circumstances can sometimes be challenging. Obviously 25+ hours of wakefulness is less than ideal. I recall as a kid rather enjoying watching some of the men in my home ward as they dozed off during sacrament meeting. There was certainly finger pointing and most definitely snickering, especially if one began to snore. I now have a better understanding of the sacrifices they made to make it to church. I now realize the importance they placed upon being there every Sunday, regardless of the circumstances. This past Sunday I was very happy that I made the necessary sacrifices to attend church. As the 1st hour ended the bishop announced that the stake president would be in attendance during sacrament meeting. I remembered just then that months prior I had told the stake president I would bear my testimony the next time he came to fast and testimony meeting. The first thought that ran through my head, admittedly, was "Oh no!!!" My testimony aside, it was one of the best meetings I can recall being in. The Spirit was so strong. Most people, for whatever reason, talked about the value of the friendships in their lives. One individual stated that being a friend was one of the greatest callings one can have. I would have to agree with such a statement. Similar to the common adage "you are what you eat," is "you are who your friends are." I have been lucky in life to be around people who place within me an aspiration to be better, as well as an aspiration to draw nearer to Heavenly Father.
I have also received a request to put more pictures on my blog. Not that this picture has anything to do with this blog, but here's one anyways.

Spring Break!

Spring break is here... and not a moment too soon! At last a break in the storm of life, and off to enjoy the calm of home. Calm? Is that how I would describe home? I suppose it would be difficult to describe anything containing 3 kids, all under the age of 9, as being anything resembling calm. So I suppose that's not how I would describe it, but one does not have to encounter the calm to find joy. My nieces and nephew are as full of energy and spunk as any kids, and yet they fill my heart and soul with unrefined joy and happiness. In a lot of ways they rejuvenate me by allowing me to see what's really important. I do wish I could see them on a more frequent basis than current circumstances permit, but the extended absences make the times I do see them all the more special. This week is not about finding the calm, rather it is about making up for lost time... lost time with those that we find closest to the heart, despite any physical distance.

Digging to sufficient Depth

One of the many blessings of the gospel is that it offers us protection in our daily lives. About 6 years ago I found myself in a precarious situation. I was in the east Iraqi desert with my Marine Corps unit. We were miles away from the nearest friendly unit and were outside of the protective blanket of artillery. We were left, quite literally, to defend ourselves. Shortly thereafter, we received word that approximately 50 Iraqi tanks were heading in our direction. As an infantryman, the prospect of going up against 1 tank, let alone 50, is debilitating. We had in our arsenal very few weapons that would have any effect on a tank. Our best defense then was to dig. The deeper the fighting position, or hole, the better. This effectively protects the infantryman against tanks. A tanks counters this by placing it's tracts on the fighting position and then spins the tank. Sadly, if the fighting position is not deep enough this act kills the infantryman in the hole. We stayed awake that entire eerie night. Every little noise sounded like that of distant tanks. Thankfully, the threat of Iraqi tanks bearing down on us never materialized. In our lives, the prospect of Satan bearing down on us can also be debilitating at times, and the threat of Satan's army bearing down on us very often does materialize. At the beginning of the school year I found myself very unprotected from such an army, and decided that a change needed to be made. I needed to dig deep into the foundation of the gospel. This year, a meaningful and sincere prayer is how I begin and end each day. I read scriptures before I go to bed and whenever I have time to spare throughout the day and I regularly attend institute classes. By immersing myself in things of the Spirit I have effectively dug my fighting position in the gospel. I can gladly state that my fighting position is of sufficient depth to protect me against just about anything that might be thrown my way. Digging a fighting position in the barren Iraqi desert required a lot of work, as does digging one in the gospel. Both fighting positions offered me protection, but a noteworthy side effect of digging a fighting position into the gospel of sufficient depth has allowed me to gain a closer relationship with Heavenly Father. Protection and a closer relationship with Heavenly Father... it's as sweet a deal as it sounds!

Happiness

What’s the difference between someone who’s happy and someone who’s not? It is that one encounters trials while the other somehow abstains from such encounters? Perhaps it’s an issue of money. After all, most marriages end as a result of financial turmoil. Or maybe it’s the fact that one person is more popular than the other. Or one is married and the other is still going stag throughout life. In reality, the issue of happiness has nothing to do with any of the aforementioned reasons. Happiness isn’t contingent on whether we are currently enduring a trial or not. We find opposition in all things, even in good things. That’s part of life. It certainly doesn’t have anything to do with money. Anyone who has traveled to a 3rd world country can tell you that there is no positive relationship between money and happiness. If anything, there is a negative relationship where the less money you have the more happy you are. If there is such a negative relationship, I think it has to do with realizing what’s truly important in one’s life… and it’s not money. Surely marriage can be argued as being a basis for happiness, but happiness can and should come long before that. Besides, if you can’t be happy before marriage what would make that change after a marriage? Like my drill instructor said, “The recruit you are today is the Marine you’ll be tomorrow.” There are very few intellectual things that can be taken from my time in the Marines, but I’ve found this statement to be rather profound. So how does one find happiness? Well, we all encounter opposition, and if happiness isn’t based on whether or not we are currently encountering opposition then the most important aspect of finding happiness is realizing that it’s that very opposition that allows us to find happiness. Bruce C. Haffen writes, “Without the taste of bitter in our experience, the taste of sweet is lost on us – we are without context, without a frame of reference and even the sweet things of life may be without meaning or purpose.” Continuing the point that our joy is in fact contingent on the presence and not the absence of opposition Haffen writes, “Joy-like grace- may well come in the midst of contrary experience, for it is a real part of life. Joy is not an alternative to opposition; it is part of a compound that includes opposition.” Further illustrating the point, those who have taken college courses have undoubtedly encountered a struggle or two. For those who have put in a lion’s share of effort to understand and to overcome these collegiate difficulties, eventually a figurative light bulb will turn on. At that point a measurable amount of joy is realized. In contrast, a student who finds the topic easy and does not encounter any struggles with it will glide through, more often than not without joy having not gone through the trial. In our personal lives, it’s important that we don’t seek to just glide through. On that very note Haffen writes, “When we are asked at the judgment bar how our life on earth was and what it all means, the following would not be a particularly satisfying answer: ‘Oh, it was nice. No big problems, really. It was a very nice life.’” We must not resist the refining fires that arise in our daily lives. I have been told that the measure of a man isn’t taken when all is well; rather it is taken during the tempests of life. How do we react in such a case? Do we act with honor and courage, or is it something we find ourselves needing to work on? Do we turn for help or do we pridefully think we are strong enough to handle it on our own? Just as important as IF we turn for help is to WHOM or to WHAT we turn for help. I know from my own personal experiences, as well as libraries of other’s experiences, that as we turn to our Heavenly Father for help we will be given the adequate strength to not just survive the tempest, but to find joy in it as well. When it comes to our interaction with our Heavenly Father, I try to imagine the interactions I will someday have with a child of my own. When my son is going through a problem and then decides to come to me for help, I imagine I’ll cherish the opportunity to lovingly guide him through life’s storms. I’m sure our Heavenly Father cherishes those opportunities as well. He wants us to come to Him, and we’re better off when we do. It makes one wonder why it doesn’t happen more often.

Super Exciting!

So I've been reviewing my finances in preparation for pharmacy school. One route I can choose to go is just taking out student loans and focus on school. The road would lead me to about $170,000 in debt. That's not something I'm super excited to start. I have, however, been looking at another option: The military! I was so excited when I finished up my 8 years of service last summer and it pretty much went without saying that I'd never consider going back in. After running the numbers though, I think I'd be foolish to not go back in. So here are the numbers. After my second year of pharmacy school (assuming I get accepted into the military health program) I would receive approximately $84,000 over the last two years of schooling based on my current Time in Service (8 years). This would enable me go to school and live rather comfortably without loans (saving me tons!). Those last two school years count towards my time in service, bringing the running count to 10 years (at 20 years you can retire). For the next three years I would be a practicing pharmacist in the military making $64,000/ year. Doesn't sound too great, except for the fact that I get basic housing allowance on top of that. This ranges depending on zip code, but a conservative estimate is $18,000 a year. This housing allowance is also tax free, bringing the yearly income to $82,000. I would be required to serve for 3 years, bringing my running time in service to 13 years. At this point I could choose to stay in or get out of the military. If I chose to stay I'd be 7 years away from retirement and at this point the government would probably be willing to pay off some, if not all, of my existing loans as an incentive to stay in. At 20 years time in service I would be approximately 41 years old. My retirement would be approximately $52,000/year (having contributed nothing) and I would still be able to work as a civilian pharmacist and easily make over $100,000/yr. So, including retirement that is about $152,000/ yr. Not to mention lifetime military benefits that save you a ton of money! So yeah... I'm pretty excited about the possible prospect of being able to retire in in 14 years!

What Lays Ahead

I've publicly declared this upcoming summer "The Summer of Adam." I've been looking forward to it for some time now, and I've begun to map out what it is I would like to accomplish during this Summer of Adam. My first intention is temple work. My parents recently shipped me a slew of our family names that are in need of temple work. I very much look forward to completing that, and I will. I very recently started taking institute more seriously and have started to attend more regularly. I'm 4 classes away from graduating institute so I will be taking those 4 classes over the summer. I very much intend on cultivating existing friendships and creating new ones. I plan on hitting up the pools of Provo on a very regular basis and I am still very much determined to get my 2 mile time down to 12:00. There are several 5k races over the summer and I plan on participating in as many of them as I can! This will mark the first summer since I've arrived in Utah (some 5 1/2 years) in which I have not attended school, but just because I won't be in school doesn't mean I won't be able to learn. I'm already beginning a compilation of books I would like to read over the summer. I will still be working so I will not have as much free time as I might like, but if I plan and budget appropriately I should be able to take the last 6 to 8 weeks off of summer to fully enjoy my last few bites of Utah. My ward last summer felt as close to family as I think a ward can, and I will try to do all I can to duplicate that this summer. As it stands, I will be leaving Utah in the early morning hours of August 4th or 5th. I would very much like to take a few church history related detours, but that is still up in the air. I should arrive in Tennessee no later than the 12th and will start my first year of pharmacy school about 2 weeks later. It'll be quite the drastic change for me, but I'm very much looking forward to it. This entire process has been made entirely possible by my Savior.


Just prior to the Fall semester of 2006 I was 3 semesters away from graduating. I had just gotten out of the Los Angeles Temple when my friend called me. He had just gotten out of his orientation for dental school. He was kind of complaining about something he was told about during the orientation. He was told that he would be required to go through 4 years of schooling without being able to wear shorts! I proceeded to tell him how miserable that was and that I wouldn't be able to do it (seriously!). Soon thereafter I wished him luck and the call was ended. No sooner did I hang up when I received a feeling that I needed to change my major and go into a medical field. It was a strong feelings. Even so, I tried ignoring it and even tried discounting it altogether. As it persisted I found myself resisting. I argued, "I'm a year and a half away from graduating!" I continued, "It'll take me so long to finish if I change now. I probably couldn't do it even if I decided to!" The feeling, however, persisted through my objections. After fervent prayer I logged onto my school account and, one by one, deleted all the classes I had previously registered for. I didn't so much as know what classes I needed to take. After a few phone calls to friends I had signed up for a full time semester under a completely different major. That was 2 1/2 years ago. Between then and now I have gone through rough patches where I didn't know if I could make it. This past summer I began the application process to pharmacy school. The requirements were high; high enough to not know beforehand whether or not schools would have me interview, much less accept me. I sent out approximately 14 applications. One by one I began receiving invitations to interview at the various schools, very literally across the country. As of today, I have received 9 invitations to interview! My first two interviews were at schools and locations I really wanted to end up in! Yet, both such interviews, the locations and the overall experience were missing something. I then interviewed at a school that I had more or less applied to on a whim. It was East Tennessee State University. I had never been to Tennessee before or anywhere even near it. I wasn't even able to spend a full day in Tennessee, but it was still long enough to offer a peaceful feeling... a feeling that I suppose can be vocalized as, "This is home!" This whole journey is not one I had envisioned for myself, but I know it's what Heavenly Father has envisioned for me. I'm still a ways away from completing the journey, but the light at the end of the tunnel is beginning to come into plain view. I'm very much excited for this journey.

Quick Thought

The past year has seen it's fair share of ups and downs. I've already discussed this a few times, but I'm really going to miss a few friends when I leave at the end of summer. While those friendships have indeed grown over the past year, the friendship that I've been able to develop the strongest over the past year is the one between Heavenly Father and myself. I'm so very grateful for that opportunity to grow and to progress. This has indeed been a good year.

My continued struggle for motivation

Coming into this week I had three tests that I would need to tackle. The first was my Vascular Plant Taxonomy Test. I hadn’t been to that particular class in some two weeks and hadn’t taken a single note in even longer. I wasn’t able to adequately motivate myself to study for it until the morning before. Even so, I think I did pretty well on it. Next was my physiology class. Again, my lack of motivation as of late had me desiring a few more hours of sleep rather than make myself go to class. It had also been about 2 weeks since I had last been, and I had missed all the material that would be covered on the test. This class means absolutely nothing to me. I took it more for fun than for any other reason. It was rather tempting going in there and taking the test without studying at all for it, but I decided I paid for the class so I might as well put a small amount of effort into it. I ended up with an 80%. I continue studying for my calculus test tonight and I will be taking it on Monday. As long as I get an 80% or above on that one I will be quite satisfied… seeing as I’ve missed the past week of those lectures as well. I’m going to make a much more concerted effort to go to all my classes. Yes, this in indeed my last semester here and I want to have fun, but I also want to make sure I learn something in the process. Aside from that, I think I’m too competitive to allow my grades to slip too much.

This week had some random occurrences as well. I hadn’t seen a certain friend of mine in a little over two months. I had just gotten to school and needed to get some studying in. I don’t all together like studying by myself so I called several of my friends to see if they were studying. They weren’t. I then thought it best to play around on the computers for a little bit. All the computers downstairs were full so I headed towards the “secret” computer lab on the second floor. Just as I was about to enter the stairwell I noticed my friend heading in my direction. I found myself heading up the stairwell trying to avoid recognition. I left the stairwell and turned to the lab. After a few feet I could tell those labs were full too. Just as I turned around the stairwell the door flew open. It was my friend. We ended up talking momentarily and then found a room to study together. Although I initially dreaded the contact, I left with a rather big smile on my face.

I finished the book I had been reading this week, Broken Things to Mend, and bought two more. I’m pretty excited to get started on those. Truman G. Madsen is one of my favorite LDS authors.

A couple of my friends and I got together this week and started making plans for Spring Break. I’m leaving for Tennessee in August, Cody is leaving for Oklahoma in June and Houston is leaving for Texas in July so this will be our last little oorah outside of a few rounds of golf we’ll get in after the semester. What we’ve managed to plan so far is reason for excitement: a backpacking trip in Bryce Canyon! I haven’t been on an actual backpacking trip since I was a scout! Easily 10 years ago or more. The trail is called Under the Rim and it’s about 26 miles or so. There’s still a lot of planning to be had, but the few pictures that we found on the internet were amazing. I’ve always been the type to be inspired by majestic scenery, and I think this place will offer the majesty so required for inspiration. If you can’t tell, I’m excited.

What's New?

It has been so easy to put off my studies for... well, just about anything. My motivation is rather limited, rather fragile. I've been accepted to the East Tennessee State University School of Pharmacy. I only have to pass one of the three classes I'm taking. The others are more or less for fun. I decided I need to recommit myself to my studies, if for no other reason than to ensure I don't take any bad habits I might acquire into my doctoral program. In regards to work I feel I've been treated rather unjustly. Making a long story short, a new program came in. With the new program came new staff, most of which were just hired. So I went from a management position to the bottom of the deck within a matter of a few days. I'm still trying to remedy that situation, and am also trying to secure other avenues of income should the remedying not go according to plan. So back to the Tennessee bit. Looking at the calendar, I think I will probably end up leaving Utah on August 4th. A friend of mine got accepted into a grad school at Duke so we will probably end up driving together. We're talking about taking a few detours to visit some church historical sites. I'm very much looking forward to that. I'm getting rather excited about the Tennessee situation in general. I can get my own place for $350/mo. I've never had my own place so that will be great! I also very much look forward to not having to juggle work and school when I'm out there. I will solely be a full time student! I'm excited about the new people I'll meet and the new experiences I'll gain out there. I very much look forward to being "different" when I move out there. What I mean is.... in Utah a dime will fetch you a dozen good LDS lads. I personally think of myself as being worth at least slightly more than a dime so it'll be good to get out. On the other hand, I'll be leaving some majestic scenery! I've certainly taken the mountains for granted but I will very much miss the inspiration they provide, which is to say nothing of how much I'll miss the recreation in which they provide. More so than that, I'll miss the friends I've been able to make through my years of calling Provo home (lets not repeat the fact that I'm referring to Provo as home). Most of my friends, however, have already moved on or will be moving on soon enough. Those that will be moving on will be moving on about the same time frame as me. So, if I were to stay in Utah for any longer, there would be far less for me here than ever before.
I'm already dubbing this summer the official "Summer of Adam." It's going to be awesome! I'm going to get so much golf in, so much motorcycle riding (provided I don't have to sell it), vacations and most importantly my summer will consist of a steady diet of temple work! I have so many names of long lost ancestors to serve. I love the opportunity the church provides in serving our ancestors and provide them with an amazing gift... one in which they can longer provide for themselves. The type of unity that creates with one's ancestors is something of grandeur!
In a time of economic uncertainty, wars and rumors of wars... I'm grateful that I have the means to support myself and that I live in a country where I do not need to fear for my life, my family or my friends. How blessed are we?
Ok, one last thing. The following is an exerpt from the book I am presently reading:
"Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a Lutheran pastor, theologian and participant in the Nazi resistant movement. Bonhoeeffer wrote, 'I can no longer condemn or hate a brother for whom I pray, no matter how much trouble he causes me. His face, that hiterto may have been strange and intolerable to me, is transormed into the countenance of a brother for whom Christ died, the face of a forgiven sinner.'" I know there are times when people get under our skin. It seems almost natural to react in some malicious way, but that's not Christ's way so it should not be our way. If we look at those around us as Bonhoeffer did we will be that much closer to having Charity in our lives and ultimately, a little more Christlike. That is my goal.

Bones

Over the past four years of schooling I have learned some rather interesting things. Others not so interesting. Among the interesting things I have learned is the slippery slope that emerges when one chooses to be idle, such as choosing not to walk. I am lucky enough to still have both grandmothers in my life. One of them, however, chose a long time ago to have a cart move her around rather than walking under her own power and energies. Her past and current medical issues are evidence of the slippery slope that she has had to endure over the years, but what causes this slippery slope? On a microscopic level bones have essentially two types of cells: Osteoblasts and osteocytes. Osteocytes break down bone while osteoblasts lay down new bone. They are both constantly at work. However, the levels of activity of one or the other may be skewed based off one's activity. When one exercises and places stress on the bones there is far more building than breaking down. Conversely, when one stands idle and places no stress on their bones their is far more breaing down than building. Bones have to be used to grow stronger, or even to maintain their strength. I think Heavenly Father helps us grow stronger the same way we allow our bones to. He places all sorts of stresses on us. I imagine at times He doesn't want to cause pain and heartache to the very children he loves, but He understands the big pictures. He knows what's best for us, and ultimately what will make us happpiest. In addition to allowing us to grow, this process allows us to become closer to and more like our Heavenly Father. And that should be our ultimate goal.