I need to POT TY

This is what happens when you ask to use the bathroom the wrong way in Marine Corps bootcamp. A recruit is supposed to ask for permission to speak. When allowed to speak the recruit is supposed to say, "This recruit requests permission to use the head, sir!" Well, this recruit said he "NEEDED" to use it. And yes, this was my life for 3 months.

A Profound Understanding...

A friend told me some time ago, "Some people come into your life for a season. Other people come into your life for a lifetime." I've thought a lot about that this week. I suppose mostly as a mechanism to deal with what's going on in my own life. In any case, I've had absolutely amazing people come into my life. People that have taught me life lessons, and even allowed me to learn more about myself. A lot of these people, however, have gone their own way. Still, the lessons I've been taught through them have stayed with me. I wouldn't be the person I am today without these "friends for a season." I think it's important to realize that your friends move on, more often than not in a direction that's completely different than your own. That doesn't mean we shouldn't make friends. I think more than anything it should illustrate the importance of enjoying friends to the fullest while they are still in our lives. Life goes by pretty fast if you haven't already noticed, and before you know it the the people that have become so dear in our lives are suddenly gone... Be it through death or just the road they embark on is different than our own. I have another 9 months or so in the state of Utah before I begin a new chapter in my life in Tennessee. Over the 5 years I've been in Utah I've made my fair share of friends, and sadly I'll be moving away from all of them and will have to start from scratch. Technology can facilitate a way to keep in touch, but that's ultimately not the same thing as being able to spend time with people. The doctorate program I'll be attending doesn't require a degree and so I've more or less chosen not to finish earning it. I'm 21 credits shy of said degree. Perhaps that's irresponsible of me. In a lot of ways I agree with that, but at the same time I want to spend as much time with the friends I have and make as many new friends as I can as well. I've spent the past 4 months cooped up at school for 40 hours a week and working 40 hours on top of that. Am I going to remember 30,40,50 years from now that I received a meaningless degree (I'll be getting my doctorate in 4 years anyways), or am I going to remember the special time I was able to spend with friends old and new alike? I think the latter is more likely. And who knows, perhaps somewhere in the mix I'll find friends that will be with me for a lifetime.

Rocky Balboa

A movie has to be pretty good for a sequel to be considered, let alone to be made. The sequel often times has to be even better than the original for a 3rd movie to be made. That's why there are so few trilogies out there. Despite all that, there are 6 "Rocky" movies! Rocky VI was released in 2006... 16 years after Rocky V. What attributed to its success? Why did Rocky, a fictional character, become as iconic an America staple as.... Apple Pie? I think it has to do with the fact that Rocky, like all of us, take punches. While Rocky's beatings were far more literal than ours ever are it doesn't remove the fact that sometimes we get beat up as we go through life. What makes Rocky Rocky is that after he takes his beatings from opponents that are often times bigger and stronger than he is... he carries on, often times stronger and more determined than at any other point in the movie. That's why we cheer for Rocky, because ultimately we want to be like him. Maybe not in the sense that we want to hop in the ring against an Apollo Creed, rather we want to be able to take life's punches and come out of it stronger and more determined to accomplish our own goals.

I've found myself in various "life beatings" throughout the years. Some have been more difficult than others. Some have taught me more than others. More often than not, greater lessons are learned from the more severe "beatings." At the present I find myself in the middle of one such beating. I know that when it's over I'll come out of the ring a better person, but knowing that doesn't take all the pain away. But like Rocky, and as I've always done, I'll take the punches... and after I've taken my hits I'll carry on more determined and more focused than before. In short, I'll be a better... more complete Adam. Those that put their money on Rocky made out pretty big, so too would anyone willing to put their money on me!

I Stand All Amazed

The past couple weeks I've had to prepare for several interviews for doctor of pharmacy programs. There's a list of potential questions I was given to help me prepare. One of these questions was: What are some of your strengths? I was actually asked that question during my interview at East Tennessee State University, and I think my answer was excellent. My answer was that one of my greatest of strengths lays in the fact that I'm quick to identify a problem (specifically within myself) and do everything I can to fix that problem. About a month ago I identified such a problem. I wasn't feeling spiritual enough, and for me that's a big problem. The gospel, like many things in life, is one of those things where if your not progressing your typically digressing. Perhaps it wasn't a dire situation, but it was a situation that needed to be fixed nonetheless. In addition to reading my scriptures with greater frequency and spending more time on personal prayer, I went on a music fast of sorts. No radio and no cds. I listened solely to conference recordings, Mormon Tabernacle Choir or other music that would be considered "Sunday music." I've finished about a month of that, and I find myself with little desire to resort back to the radio. Instead of having a random song stuck in my head I'd have a random hymn stuck in there. Whenever a problem would arise a hymn would come to mind and it would put me at ease. The effects were amazing. If nothing else, it brought me closer to Heavenly Father and helped me to remember Him with much greater frequency. I highly encourage others to try this music fast.

Put your hand up

All of last week I was interviewing for doctor of pharmacy programs. It was quite hectic without even considering the amount of school I was missing. The interviews went as well as I could have hoped for, but I wanted to share a "non interview" related experience I had this previous week. My interview at East Tennessee State University had gone on for an hour more than I thought it would and I only had three hours to make a 2 1/2 hour drive to a school out in rural Virginia for my next interview. I had my mapquest directions in hand, and that was about it. My cell phone reception discontinued before I even left the freeway. I got off the freeway onto a "state highway," and knew I was going to have problems finding the place. As I continued on, the "highway" became more and more narrow and less and less... well, pavement. It eventually became a dirt highway and narrow enough to where if a car would have been coming from the opposite direction, one of us would have had to have stopped and put it in reverse for a while. It was getting pretty near my interview time and there was nothing in sight aside from coal mines and seeminly never ending rolling hills. I saw a truck stopped in the road a little ways a head so I stopped and asked if I was going in the right direction. I was dressed in my white shirt and tie for my interview and the "fella" looked at me like it was the first time he had ever seen such a combination. He looked puzzled for a moment and told me I could in fact get to where I was needing to go if I continued on but added that it was a long ways a way and that the roads were pretty bad. I had only 20 minutes left before my interview so I went as fast on that narrow mountain road as I could go. There were no signs so I had to do a lot of guessing, and that method concluded with me wandering into a completely different state. Ooops. By this point I was getting rather frustrated. I had pretty much been lost for the past three hours, without cell phone reception and there were no road signs or signs of civilization for that matter. After another hour of what ended up being aimless wandering I decided to miss my interview altogether and head back the way I came and spend the night in Tennessee. Again, I was pretty frustrated. Heck, I'll even go as far as to say I was mad. I was mad that it was so rural. Mad that there were no signs whatsoever. Mad that people would actually want to live out there. I was even mad at the fact I was so absurdly lost in a state that voted for Obama! I was definitely searching for things to be mad at, and I was filling my bag full of things! As I was in this morbid state of mind I approached a man while driving. He was in front of his very humble dwelling going about his own business. I was driving a Toyota Corolla, and since it wasn't a truck was a dead give away I wasn't from around the area. Even still, the humble man turned towards me as I drove, smiled and waived at me. It was such a simple gesture. He probably didn't even think anything of it. I waived back and before I was even able to put my hand back down, I had a feeling of peace overwhelm me. Attitude is such an imporant aspect of life, and I was quite literally amazed at how big of an impact that simple smile and waive had on my attitude. I was no longer angry. If anything I felt a little foolish for having let it come to anger. Applying this into a greater context, if we will but expend a small amount of energy and smile at those that walk by, or if we're willing to so much as waive... I submit that such small and simple acts can have a profound effect upon those around us. After all, the smallest act is greater than the best intention.

They Jacked Our Meat!

One day during the summer before our senior year of high school my friend, Wolfy, and I decided that we were going to go to Six Flags Magic Mountain. We didn't have any money but he had a season pass, a free friend pass and a free parking pass. Again, we had no money so before we made the hour long trip to the park we packed ourselves some sandwiches. We had just arrived at the park and were getting everything out of the car. I asked Wolfy, "Where'd you put the sandwiches?" He said, "No, where did you put the sandwiches?!" They were an hour away in Wolfy's kitchen! It was 10 am. The park wasn't closing until midnight, and we planned on staying the whole 14 hours! At about 3 pm our stomaches started churning... we were hungry! We started going into restaurants and asking for water cups. When they weren't looking we poured as much pink lemonade into our cups as we could! The sugar allowed us to function, but we were still in dire need of solid food. We stuck to our original plan of staying until midnight, despite our empty stomachs. The park started closing and we headed for the parking lot with the rest of the crowd. By this point we were moving ever so slowly. We just didn't have any energy left. We had just gotten to the parking area and started looking for our car... when I saw something shiny on the ground! My eyes immediately dilated. It was one of those plastic packagings that you would find at an Albertson's Bakery. I thought it was muffins, or something like unto it. I ran up to the plastic packaging. They weren't muffins. No, it was half of an albertson's chicken. Just sitting there. On the ground of the Six Flags parking lot. Never did a thought enter my mind to discourage me from eating it. We didn't even wait until we got to my car. As fast as we opened the packaging our fingers and lips were covered in chicken grease. We continued to walk to my car and literally devoured that half chicken. Now the distance between where we discovered our half chicken and my car was about 30 yards. As we were nearing completion of our chicken feast we heard a man's voice yell, "HEY! THEY JACKED OUR MEAT!" Wolfy and I looked at each other, scampered around my car in opposite directions, met on the other side and finished our chicken as fast as we could! We were literally shoving chicken in our faces. We licked our fingers the best we could and then bolted in the car for a quick get away. But OH NO! We left the headlights on the entire day! The battery was dead! We uttered some silent prayers hoping we weren't about to get beaten up. We didn't thankfully but we were the last car to leave the parking lot. So much for a quick get away! Our stomachs still weren't quite full. Between a coupon and 213 pennies we found in my car we were able to purchase 6 tacos at a Taco Bell and then made our way uneventfully home. It had been a long day.

19 year old boy

Eleven days after I graduated high school I found myself wondering what I had gotten myself into. I was in Marine Corps boot camp and I couldn't remember why I had signed on the dotted line to put myself in this position. Yet, here I was. Up to that point it was the hardest 13 weeks of my life. One of the few things that kept me pushing forward was knowing that this was only going to be a "part time job." After training I'd get to live my own life! Get a regular job, go to school, and just have the freedom that we've all come to take for granted. Ten days before the commencement of boot camp, however, the terrorist attacks of September 11th changed everything. I received notice after my training that I was being involuntarily activated for a minimum of 1 year, with a possible extension. I had to drop out of school and, most importantly, give up the freedom I was so excited to have once again! The first six months of my activation were miserable. I had just turned 19 and I wasn't use to this sort of life. I felt like I wasn't free to live my own life. Not to mention the verbal abuse, peppery spraying, gas chambering, forced marches, and freezing temperatures that needed to be endured. I had never been so down in my life. I didn't feel like I was progressing. I felt so stagnant. I don't know what it was, but something motivated me to snap out of my funk after six months. I told myself, "You have six more months... lets make the best of it!" Compared to the first 6 months of training, the latter 6 months were much harder. Still, with my newly acquired positive attitude, the last six months were amazing. Easily among the best six months I've ever had in my life. It was this positive attitude that motivated me to become the best Marine I could be, and ultimately kept me alive in Iraq.
I've learned so much from that experience. As miserable as I was, I'm so thankful that I had the opportunity to go through that pain and suffering to learn that life lesson. Many of the people I know can vouch for me when I say it's difficult to catch me without a smile. There is always something to smile about... always! No matter how bad a situation might be, a reason to smile can always be found. That's simply the product of a lesson I learned as a little 19 year old boy.

My Pharmacy Essay

The manner in which I've worked towards many of my goals has elicited from many people the question, "How do you do it?" Accomplishing any worth while goal usually requires some sacrifice, and I've always been willing to make such sacrifices to accomplish the goals I've set for myself. After a while, however, it doesn't feel like your sacrificing anything at all. While in the Marines I made a goal of becoming the best Marine I could be. I knew that not only did my life depend on it, but the lives of many others depended on it as well. Knowing that my preparations had helped keep those around me alive, the sacrifice of attaining that level of preparation didn't seem like such a sacrifice. I imagine that a career in pharmacy is similar in that my preparation as a pharmacist may decide lives. It's this that will motivate me to be the best pharmacist I can be. It's a challenge that I met as a Marine and a challenge that I look forward to as a pharmacist.

When I was a child my family lived in Los Angeles, California. My parents couldn't afford to buy a home in the area so we moved several hours away to a place that was more affordable. My dad, however, continued to live in LA during the week and would only come home on the weekends. That was his sacrifice for a home and to get our family into a better neighborhood. That's a sacrifice I never want to have to make. Among the many things that motivate me to succeed, my motivation to never have to sacrifice time with my family trumps all others. The family unit works much better when the father is present. When I have a family of my own I don't want to have to compromise my time with them for anything, and that's my greatest driving force.

I have often pursued avenues to distinguish myself and to attain a certain level of prestige. One such avenue led me to join the United States Marine Corps. I learned many invaluable lessons in the Marines, but none so much perhaps as the lesson of hard work. Among other things the Marines are well known for being proficient at their jobs, no matter the work environment. They're able to accomplish this by often requiring more out of you during training than would normally be required in a typical scenario. My time serving in Iraq was no cake walk, but in comparison to the difficulty of the training it was easy. I expect pharmacy school to be similar and very much look forward to the vast amounts of knowledge and skill I will be able to obtain there.

I decided just prior to the Fall of '06 semester to change my major from history education to biology to pursue a career in pharmacy. As much as I enjoy history I've always enjoyed the sciences more. I've always enjoyed how the human body functions and how pharmaceuticals play a part in continued and extended human function. When I have completed pharmacy school I would like to work in either research or in a hospital. I feel I would be able to help people in those settings more so than in other settings.

I work at an alcohol and drug rehabilitation center for youth, and have been there for nearly four years. I've seen the adverse effects of ill advised decisions, and I take a certain amount of pride in knowing that I've set a good example for four years worth of kids coming in and out of the program.

My two most sought after feelings are those that accompany a worthy accomplishment and helping someone in need. I believe pharmacy school will give me ample opportunities to enjoy both said feelings. My love for learning is only trumped by my love of helping others. I've experienced many successes in my otherwise short life: winning various athletic competitions, scoring high on difficult examinations, defeating an opposing army, etc. While such accomplishments create a measure of joy, it is nonetheless short lived. However, memories of helping those in need linger over a much longer span of time. I can remember the specifics of leaving the necessities of a Thanksgiving feast at a neighbor's doorstep some 15 years ago much more vividly than I can recall many of my personal accomplishments, even if those personal accomplishments have taken place much more recently. Again, I believe a career in pharmacy will prove to be a major accomplishment in my life, and will also put me in a position to help others who stand in need, and that is something worth pursuing!

Tender Mercies

In one of Elder Bednar's first talks as a member of the 12 he spoke of the Tender Mercies of the Lord. Ever since then I've been able to identify such Tender Mercies in my own life that remind me how much my Father in Heaven loves me. Today was a rough day. Certainly a very emotionally draining day. To ease my mind I decided that I needed to go on a motorcycle ride. I wasn't sure where to go, I just knew I needed to go somewhere. I was planning on going on one of my usual routes, but felt like I needed to go up the canyon to do some thinking. I got to my destination and walked to a place where I knew I'd be alone. I thought, threw rocks, prayed and even sang. After spending about an hour there I started heading back towards my motorcycle. As I was doing so I noticed a familiar looking person walking towards me. It was a friend of mine. A friend who I really wanted to talk to. Perhaps I even needed to speak with him. I couldn't believe it! I was in shock! What were the odds of running into him? At that moment I was once again reminded how much my Heavenly Father loves me. I may not understand his plan, but He does love me. That's exactly what I needed. I walked up to my friend and told him how crazy it was to run into him. He answered saying maybe it wasn't so crazy after all. I think he was right.

Daily Armor

When one thinks of history's greatest battlefields the imagination is drawn to the pitched battles of Korea, Vietnam and World War II. In the three day battle of Gettysburg some 50,000 Americans lost their lives. Surely this has to be considered when discussing history's greatest battlefields, but it's not. The greatest battlefield takes place within our own minds between the forces of good and evil, everyday! An army's success is so dependent upon being well supplied. In my own experience, military planners hadn't expected us to move so swiftly towards Baghdad. We had basically outrun our supply chain and had to wait 2 days for our supplies to catch up before we could begin our northward march again. So it is too in the fight for our minds, or rather the battle for our wills. The better supplied we keep our mind the better protected in our daily battles we'll be. And just as an army would suffer the consequences of being supplied with bad rations, we too suffer the consequences of listening to profanity laced music and watching things that detract from the spirit. One of our enemy's battle plans is to corrupt the most fundamental units of society: the family. I work at a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center for youth, and in the 4 years I've worked here it's become clear to me how brutally effective the corrupting of the family structure is as a battle plan. All the more reason to guard against it. I was recently reading an article on Fox news. It was more or less an audit of the major television networks and the shows they broadcast. I don't recall the exact figures but for every mention of marriage there were three mentions of the joys of promiscuity. Pornography is another way to corrupt the family. I had always known that it was a bad thing, but it wasn't until just recently that I saw just how destructive it can be. It breaks up families. I had always heard that it had, but it's different when it's happened to someone that you care about. It hits on a whole new level. Again, the greatest battles take place everyday within our own minds. Every morning we wake up Satan is ready to throw everything he has at you. If your not equally prepared, chances are you'll lose. And in this battlefield, if you lose you give up a lot more than a piece of land.

Your Mexican Auto Insurance Policy

At the conclusion of every summer I tell myself I'll never do summer school again. Yet, every summer I find myself in the same place. This has by far been my hardest summer ever, and after an extremely hectic week I can now breathe a sigh of relief knowing it's over. Before that sigh has so much as finished, however, I come to the realization that in 20 days I'll start all over again. I need to make the most out of those 20 days, so in a little less than 32 hours I'll be on my way to Mexico with the Charity Anywhere Foundation. I actually have no idea what I'm going to be doing down there, and it doesn't even matter to me. I'll be given the opportunity to serve those that stand in need of it. I've been so busy this summer doing what I've needed to do that I haven't had many opportunities to focus on and serve others, and I couldn't be more excited that I can finally take the focus off myself and and help those that stand in need. What a spiritual experience this is going to be!

The power of a friend

I have been blessed in so many many ways. Among the greatest of my blessings are the friends I've had the privilege of having. Friends that put your happiness even above their own, because they know that you being happy will make them happy. One night, a very long time ago, I was really upset about something and I needed someone there for me. I called up one of my best friends, Ben. When he picked up I wasn't even able to say anything. I just cried. Ben hung up the phone and a few moments later I heard the nearing 'thud thud thud' of someone running towards me. It was Ben. He didn't say anything and he didn't have to. Just being there was enough. On another occasion I was going through a very difficult time, yet was able to keep my difficulty a secret from just about everybody. One random night, however, my door bell rang. It was my friend, Mick. I hadn't seen him for a week or two and he had never really come to my house before so I thought it was a bit odd. In any case, he asked if I'd come out and take a walk with him. After we exchanged pleasantries I asked him to what I owed the pleasure of his visit. He said something to the effect of, "I actually don't know Adam. I just felt like you needed some help and wanted to make sure everything was alright." Even our innermost bottled up feelings are known by our Father in Heaven. I told Mick that everything was fine, and after that visit everything was. That visit did so much for me, and Mick didn't even know it. He just followed a prompting. Often times our prayers are answered through friends, and that was one such occasion where mine was.
Towards the end of high school I became really close to a family in my ward. I grew particularly attached to one of their sons, John. I could fill a book or two on all the crazy things we did! Last July I received a text message from my brother saying that he had heard John had died sometime that morning. I made a few phone calls. It was true. John was gone. I've always been exceptional around death. I had seen it more than a hundred times while serving in Iraq and it never phased me the least bit. Though, none of those hundred were a friend of mine. The few weeks leading up to the funeral I was ok. The emotions, however, flooded back when I went to the funeral. I, again, have been fine since the funeral and don't think of John all that often. For whatever reason I was talking to a friend about John recently and I started to get upset again about losing him. I wondered why. What I've come up with is that a friend, someone who puts your happiness even above theirs, is hard to come by. They're the ones that are so important to hang onto. Thankfully with the knowledge of the Gospel I know that I'll see him again, but it's still not easy to lose a friend. I'd be so much less of a person today without my friends. They are quite literally a blessing in one's life.

What do you want?

I always knew growing up when Thanksgiving was drawing near. The closer it got, the more advertisements for this that and the other would come in the mail. As a kid I would go through these advertisements over and over again. Circling and, often times, recircling all the many things I wanted from Santa that year. Just the thought of all the new toys is enough to make the naughtiest of little boys yearn to be placed on the good list, and mom's have a gift of leveraging their correspondence with Santa to whip these naughty boys into shape. As time passed, I found myself asking for fewer and fewer gifts. That didn't seem to matter as much anymore. What I've come to realize is that being able to spend quality time with my family is a far better gift than anything than can be bought at Wal-Mart (probably one of the few things left in this world that can't be bought there). I don't get to see my family very often but it's always special when I do. As my love for toys has dwindled the love for my family has grown. Every passing year I seem to love them just a little bit more than the year before. As much as I love my family, my love for them is surpassed by the love for my nieces and my nephew. They brighten my life. Nothing has ever been able to put so big a smile on my face. And then I realized what I want this Christmas... My family.

Memories

I've often been in awe of the effect that memories can have on our lives. Perhaps this is unique to myself, but I often seem to store only the good memories. Memories that uplift and encourage. It's been said that, "God gave us memories so we may have roses in the Decembers of our lives." I cannot underscore just how true that is. I remember I was watching conference. President Thomas S. Monson was giving one his articulate and uplifting talks when he quoted the above quote. I immediately rewound (thank goodness for TiVo) and jotted it down. I've always been fond of memories. All too oft I find myself remembering the good times of a not so distant past. These memories always serve to put a smile on my face. Sometimes, however, we forget some of the best of our memories. This only highlights the importance of keeping an up to date journal. Last night I was a bit down and needed something to uplift me. I began reading my old journal entries. I not only found myself laughing out loud, but also found myself with tears in my eyes. Happy tears though. It's always pleasant going back and seeing how much you've progressed. As you read journal entries from the past your more able to look at the situation with a much grander perspective, and in just about every case (at least for me) everything turned out wonderfully when I put my faith in my Heavenly Father. As simple as a lesson as that may seem, it's nonetheless important to be reminded from time to time. I've realized that some of the lowest times, times when it felt like the world was bearing it's weight on my shoulders, have often become my fondest of memories. It's times like these that have forced me to my knees, and ultimately grown me into the person I am today.

A deep thought at 3am

If I wasn't already prior to this weekend, I am now fully convinced of the fact that I will never stop learning. There is so much out there to learn. In both the seen and unseen worlds alike. And as much as there is to learn there is an exponentially greater amount of information that hasn't been tapped just yet. External lessons aside, we may spend the next 80 or so years in our mortal state and still never fully know ourselves. With every test, every challenge we not only become stronger, but better understand ourselves as well. If for no other reason, it is this fact that makes having a relationship with our Father in heaven so important. Because he does know us. He knows our weaknesses and strengths. Our highs and lows. And, ultimately, He knows the path that will lead to eternal happiness. We may at times want to do things our own way, or walk down our own path… but that's just us being stubborn. When our lives are guided by the Father there's only one direction we can go. We might face a season of unpleasantries on that path, but ultimately even those trials will lead us to happiness.

What I've learned (this is over a year old)

I'm a couple months shy of 24 years spent in this mortal existence. In this relatively short time I've experienced many things. More things, I think, than would a typical person of my age group be able to boast. Some experiences have brought me down while yet others have lifted me up. Although some of my experiences have brought me lower than I've ever wanted to venture I'm not quite sure how readily I would give such experiences up these "tough" experiences have made me into the person I am today much more so than those that have otherwise initially built me up. One's character is determined, I believe, not by how the individual responds to the good, but rather how one responds and reacts to the bad. As aforementioned, I've been through many of the good but have been through my share of the bad as well. Going through these bad experiences is always painful on some level. I've learned that bad experiences hurt the most when things are completely out of your control. If you can..t control a situation then you have no hand in the outcome. That, to some degree, scares me. What I've learned (and at the same time has at times hurt me the most) is that the path that YOU want to take isn't always necessarily the best path. In attempting to navigate a maze, the best route typically cannot be easily discerned while in the maze itself. Conversely, someone with an elevated vantage point would be able to map the best route. There..s only one person who has the vantage point in our lives. We too, as it were, are running around in a maze of sorts trying to find our way to the goal. We can decide to listen to the one with the vantage point or we can disregard it. Ultimately in the end we will be much happier and go through much less strife if we listen to the directions given us. Still, listening doesn't always take us in the direction that we want to go in. Going in the "right direction" will still have obstacles and trials. We may not want to experience or even navigate through such things.. but nothing worth while was ever easy and nothing easy is ever worth while. In the maze of life there will always be pain and suffering, both the good and bad alike. Likewise, choices and decisions will be placed before us.. some of which are much less than easy or obvious. As long as we listen to the "vantage point" we can be assured that we will head in the direction that we ultimately want to head. As we go through the obstacles in life we can take comfort that we always have someone to help us.. to guide us. Someone who has been through the same such obstacles.. who knows both exactly how to navigate such obstacles, and to comfort us if we don..t quite do as well as we..d like. Our vantage point wants to help, but it is up to us to heed the counsel given. He..s offering the map of the maze. It..s up to us to use it.

This could only happen to me

In my diligent effort to remedy my "singleness" I've been putting forth some effort as of late. My efforts, however, haven't borne any fruit but they have produced some funny stories. I was telling a friend about them today and she thought it would be a good idea to make a book of all of my stories (trust me, I have a lot of them). So, this is as much a way to appease her as it is wanting to find out the feasibility of such a book. Enough of the intro, lets get to the stories!

All pharmacy programs require their applicants to have successfully completed a psychology class, so I decided to take psychology 1010 this semester. So here I am, a 24 year old college senior taking a freshmen level psychology class. Being a freshmen level class, I'm easily one of the eldest students in that class, and for whatever reason, the female gender seems more interested in psychology than your average male. Thus, about 85% of the class was female. So the first day of class, I did what any single person does…. I "scoped" it out. I decided which girls in class I wanted to get to know a little bit better. Our teacher soon thereafter began class and was going over the grading scheme. Among other things, we were going to be graded on a group project that we would have to present in front of the entire class. She then split us up into groups of 10. Well, I was lucky enough to have two of the girls I wanted to "get to know better" in my group. I, of course, was delighted by this. Our group met and we all exchanged numbers with one another. That's the background information.

One day I walked into class and one of the cute girls in my group was sitting in my usual seat. I sat next to her and we started talking. Class started soon thereafter and we obviously stopped our conversation. Throughout the teacher's lecture this girl, Rachel, was texting non stop. Usually I don't mind, but in this instance it was a bit distracting. I decided I needed to pull a prank on her! I opened my notebook and turned to the page I had written down the numbers of everyone in my group. I found her number and I texted her. This is what the text said: "I would appreciate it if you refrained from texting during my lecture. Thanks, your teacher, Jan." She opened up her next text message and she couldn't help but have that certain look of bewilderment. She closed her phone and put it back her in pocket. It didn't come back out. Ten minutes I leaned over to her and asked, "Hey, you didn't happen to get a text message from the teacher, did you?" Her eyes got as big as softballs. "Na-Uh! Did you get one too?!?" At this point I couldn't stop from laughing and I fessed up to the deed. After that we spent some time together. We went to a concert and went on a motorcycle ride or two. Among our conversations, she told me she was 18. I didn't like that too much but I decided I shouldn't let that decide if I liked her or not… so I continued on. A few days later was Saturday. I wanted to do something with her, but she had to work until late that night, 11 pm to be specific. For all those out there that know me well, I'm sure you'd agree that I'm a "retard". I decided I hadn't done anything retarded for a while, and that I should fix that. So, in my effort to do something retarded, I went to the store Saturday night and bought a long stem rose and a bottle of Martinelli's. If you don't know what that is your seriously missing out. In any case, I got to her work at 10:30. I parked a good distance away from her car so Rachel wouldn't be able to see me. I then walked over to her car, hid the rose and two glasses in a tree near her car, and placed the Martinelli's on top of her car… so she wouldn't miss it. I then returned to my car and waited. Finally, around 11:30, a car pulls up near Rachel's car. Two girls hop out. One girl grabs the Martinelli's and both girls hop back in the car. Combining the darkness with distance I was from Rachel's car I couldn't tell if Rachel was over there or not. So, after a minute or two, the car that the two girls jumped into parks and three people get out: the two girls and a guy. Again, couldn't tell who was who. At that point I had three options: Save face and leave, go over there and perhaps Rachel is one of the three people, or if Rachel isn't one of them go over there and get my Martinelli's back! I decided to go over there. As I was walking over, one of the girls went into the backseat. I wasn't trying to be sneaky, but the girl and the guy had their backs to me, and when I was about 5 feet away from them I exclaimed, "HEY!" The girl flips out and commences to cuss me out. After a moment of shell shock I made my way over to the backseat of the car and Rachel was indeed there. I asked Rachel what was her friend's deal, and I found out they were best friends. So I got a little turned off. I left a few minutes later just feeling absolutely retarded….so mission accomplished I guess. The next morning I woke up to 6 text messages from Rachel. In paraphrase the texts said, "Adam, I'm so sorry. I should have told you sooner. I thought it would have come up in a previous conversation, but it didn't. I graduated from high school a year early…. I'm only 17!" lol. How do you handle something like that? And if your wondering, she had in fact told me she was 18.

Two weeks later I went to class and the teacher informed our group that we were scheduled to present our project in two days. So, being the eldest, I took charge and called everyone that night to make sure everything was getting done. In doing so, I inevitably had to call the "other cute girl" in my group. We ended up talking for about 45 minutes… while she was at work. She obviously could have gotten off the phone had she wanted to. When she did get off work she called me and we talked until her phone died. So I thought this looked promising! The next day we met up to go over what we had with the project and after 5 minutes we started talking about pretty much everything but our project. About 40 minutes into our conversation she mentioned that she was working a full time job, a part time job and going to school full time. I inquired as to her reasoning for doing so. Her answer: Bills. I called her BS and told her that I had way more bills than she has. To try to figure it out I asked her how much she pays a month for her car. "Nothing, it's completely paid off." I was even more confused so I asked further about these bills. Before I let you know what she said I want to remind you that we had been flirting for a good solid 2 days now. Ok, so her response to her "bills"…. "Well, I'm getting married in 11 weeks, and we're going to have a lot of bills, and I'm just trying to stay on top of them before they really get bad." I immediately thought to myself, "Seriously? What are the chances… I seriously have the worst luck… wait, maybe she has a ring on her finger and I just didn't see it." I took a few glances at her ring finger… nothing. So I asked, "Where's your ring?" "Well, my boyfriend said he's going to propose to me sometime this week, I just don't know when it's going to be," she replied. The next day in class, guess what was on her previously nude ring finger? You guessed it. She got proposed to that night. Very likely within an hour or two after we had finished flirting with one another.

About 2 hours before that, however, I passed up a chance of a lifetime! I was on campus at BYU going to a basketball game. A very attractive young lady was walking in my direction. This, obviously, was reason enough for excitement. We neared each other and, in so doing, made eye contact. I said hi and she returned my hi with a hi of her own. Just as we passed she stopped and turned around… and I did the same. "Sorry!" she said. "I couldn't see you. The sun was right behind you. YOU LOOKED LIKE AN ANGEL!" Those were her exact words! "You looked like an angel!" I responded, "Wow, that's a really good first impression!" She followed up, "Yeah, it is!" And then, being the retard that I am, I walked away. I know, your probably asking yourself, "What the heck are you thinking?" Funny thing is, the stupidity of the situation didn't quite hit me for about a minute, but when it did hit a minute later it hit hard! I felt so absolutely retarded. So this took place on a Tuesday evening, right before 7. Guess where I was the following Tuesday right before 7? You guessed it! I had been sitting there for about 20 minutes when I saw the girl I thought I had seen the week earlier. So, I followed her and she got in her car. At that point I completely chickened out and walked right past her car. A few seconds later I was able to must up some courage by telling myself, "Dude! Freakin grow a pair! Worst case you'll have a funny story to tell!" So I turned around and walked back to her car. Luckily, the car door was still open. I walked up to her car… "Excuse me, did I run into you last week?" She looked at me for a moment, "No, I don't think so." "Really? I look like an angel…. Not ringing any bells?" She looked me over again, "No, I'm sorry." So maybe it wasn't her, but she was still a cute girl. I really considered asking her out anyways, but come on… that would be weird, right? So I thanked her for her time and I walked away. So yeah, that's my dating situation for the past month. Hope you enjoyed. Let me know what you think.

-Adam

Anticipating Summer

The warming weather with the end of the semester in sight can mean only one thing: summer is near. I can't stand the cold. I often wear nothing more than jeans and a short sleeve t-shirt during the winter. Mostly because that's what I'm comfortable with, but also to spite the cold. With summer comes long motorcycle rides, hitting up Provo's many pools and enjoying the freedom that inevitably coincides with the season. Yet, summer's freedom can begin to bother me. Sure, the freedom is great for the first few weeks but I can't help but feel that I'm wasting time by not progressing. It's this feeling that's had me in summer school full time since I began college. This summer will be no different. I'm undecided so far as to the specific classes I'll be taking, but it's looking like it will entail Organic Chemistry II and Cell Biology. Both beastly classes. I'll also be studying for the Pharmacy College Admissions Test (PCAT). To be perfectly honest, I'm a little bit anxious to start summer school. Not because I don't enjoy freedom. No, I enjoy freedom as much as the next person. I'm anxious because I can finally start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. While still a faint light that requires the eyes to focus to be able to pick up, I'm excited nonetheless. In reality I still have a full year of undergraduate work ahead of me plus anywhere from 3 to 5 years on top of that depending if I decide to get my MBA alongside my doctorate. Either way I'll have student loans that will rival most mortgages.
As hard as last summer was, I had a blast. Microbiology was one of the funnest classes I've ever taken. How many classes can you take where bringing your poo into class is a requirement? I found myself being a little disappointed when we were instructed to skip a few chapters due to time constraints. I really felt like I was missing out on something by skipping those chapters. I believe 4 people out of 40 ended up getting A's and I was one of them. I spent 30 hours a week studying for just that class, but I was sad when it ended. This current semester hasn't really challenged me. I rarely to go to any of my classes anymore, and yet the lowest grade in any of my classes is a 94%. This summer will definitely be a challenge.
Aside from school I'm excited to go on the trips that always seem to pop up during summer. I plan on learning to wakeboard this summer. I wouldn't mind going skydiving again, but the last time I went wasn't that big of a rush for me. A bit of a letdown actually. Maybe hit up Zions. Who knows. Trips like that are usually more sporadic than planned so we'll see what happens. Either way, I'm excited for summer!

Spring Break 2008

Went down to St. George with one of my friends from school. We wanted to go golfing, but had some difficulty getting a tee time. The courses were either holding tournaments or were full. We finally got in through a waiting list. It was a beautiful course, and much more importantly we got to play in our shorts!

We then decided to go to Zions to hike to the waterfall of Court of the Patriarchs. While not an "actual" trail, it's the most fun of any of the hikes at Zions. The waterfall was a mere trickle, but coming off a 500 foot cliff still made it quite impressive. The way back down was a bit fun as we bouldered down the river.

The following day we went back up to Zions to hike Angel's Landing. The landmark of this hike is the 1400 foot cliffs that you stand atop. Not the best place for one timid of heights, but still fun.

After words we went to Texas Roadhouse. One of the guys that we went with was having his birthday. We informed our spunky waitress, and a few moments later she came back with a horse saddle on top of a child seat. She made the birthday boy sit on it, then proceeded to hop on our table and put a spotlight on him and then had the entire restaurant give him a YEHA! Fun times.

Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder (DSPD)

It's 4am. I've been in bed now since 11 and I haven't managed to fall asleep. My mind is racing, thinking about anything from how to break down a zone defense to how to correctly spell supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. I have to wake up in two hours for seminary and after school I have basketball practice.

I had to endure the above situation countless times during high school and to some degree I still do. Out of desperation I once took 6 tylenol pms to help push me into sleep. It did nothing more than make it difficult to wake up the next morning. (And having weighed about 125 pounds at the time I'm lucky to have woken up at all) I would still toss and turn for hours on end. When I would finally fall asleep I'd have to wake up an hour or two later. You'd think it'd be easy for me to fall asleep the following night after having such sleep deprivation, but it wasn't.

While this would typically be classified as being a detriment under normal circumstances it proved to be an asset in others. In the Marine Corps they force sleep and food deprivation. The food deprivation was new to me, but I was all too familiar with sleep deprivation. Somehow my body keeps working at near 100%. There were many times in Iraq where we were on "alert," where no one was permitted to sleep the entire night. On one specific occasion we were in what could be described as Iraqi's Eastern Desert. We were well beyond the range of artillery and were essentially all by ourselves. There were about 100 of us and the nearest unit of 100 was about 1/2 an hour away. Not the best of conditions during war. We received word that a tank battalion with upwards of 60 Russian tanks were heading in our direction. For those who are unaware, when infantry goes up against tanks one side gets slaughtered. Other than a handful of missiles to shoot at them we were pretty much defenseless. We dug our fighting positions (or fox holes) as deep as we could. You see, a common technique used to tanks to kill infantry is by putting their tracks above the fox hole and spinning the tank. If the hole isn't deep enough, the man in the fox hole is no more. So obviously we dug our hole deep and couldn't fall asleep all that night. In the still of the night just about every noise sounds like distant tanks. Morning came and our unit of 100 men relocated behind a canal while a couple of A10 Warthogs flew over and took out any tanks that were nearby. As a result of our "relocation" our company commander lost his command. All in all, the first 30 days of the war I got about 30 hours of sleep. Most of the time we were bunched in the back of a moving truck with our knees in our chest. It was heaven when we were finally able to sleep horizontal!

Last semester I was taking a heavy load of classes and working 40 hours of graveyard. I was getting about 2 hours of sleep on average a night. I would often come home and not be able to fall asleep before I'd have to be up some 2 hours after I got home. While I'm able to get more sleep now, I usually still have trouble falling asleep, despite the sleep deprivation.

Casually looking through Wikipedia I came across Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder. It is often developed in late childhood or early adolescence and never completely goes away. It is often misdiagnosed as insomnia. The difference is those who have DSPD are able to get a full night's sleep once they fall asleep but are not able to fall asleep until much later than normal. It is believed that a delay in melatonin production is the cause. Melatonin is secreted through a gland in the brain in very minute amounts which causes drowsiness. It also is a very potent antioxidant. Your body does not produce melatonin in the presence of light and this knowledge has put working grave yards on a list of potential carcinogens.

I've been taking oral melatonin ever since I self diagnosed myself. That seems to help a lot. Which is good, because who likes carcinogens?

Time Off

We live in a world full of monotony. My life is no different. With few exceptions my life consists of three things: Work, School and what 9 out of 10 doctors describe as sleep depravity. As necessary as monotony is to sustain a regular life, it is paramount to break from it to keep one sane. That is exactly what this week is about. Yesterday I went indoor surfing. Odd as it may sound, it's quite the experience.

I'm heading to St. George for the rest of the weekend to enjoy, among other things, playing golf in my shorts! Californian's have been wearing shorts since... well, rarely does the weather keep those in California from wearing shorts. I am definitely out of my element when I have to scrape snow and ice off of my windshield every morning. We're also going to spend a day or so at Zions. Although I'm deathly afraid of heights, Zions is among my favorite place to vacation. Such a fun place. So here's to keeping me sane this weekend

March 11th

I've taken 3 tests in the past two days. I'd love to say that it was quite the accomplishment, but it really wasn't. This semester is one of those "too good to be true" sort of things. I promise I've pinched myself several times already. Still haven't woken up. Today I took my macroeconomics test. Haven't opened the book since our last test about 3 weeks ago. I got to school and got a text message from a friend I hadn't seen for a while. He was in a study group with some of my other buddies preparing for their Organic Chemistry II test. I don't know what it is about those guys, but when I'm around 'em I just get going. We were laughing and having a good 'ole time. Nearly forgot I had a test to take... Nearly.

I departed for the library to begin my macro studying. When I got to the library one of my other friends was studying for the Organic Chemistry II test. By the time I got done talking to her it was 3:30. I had an intramural basketball game to go to so I had to be done with the test by 7:30 at the very latest. Again, hadn't yet opened the book. So I absolutely whizzed through the material. Not to say it was easy material. Quite the contrary. I just started skipping stuff. I gave myself about an hour to take the test, but that wasn't enough time. 7:25 came around and I still had about 10 questions left. So.... I guessed. 86%. I was a little disappointed though. That test dropped my grade all the way down to a 113% ;) lol

Our intramural team is horrible. There's so much more to basketball than talent. There's an intellectual side to it that is very much under appreciated. I would love to coach one of these days to instill that intelligence into others. Over the past couple years I've instilled this intellect into one of our players and he's improved a ton because of it.

Spring Break is.... well, now. I'm going surfing up in Ogden, and then I'm heading down to St. George to play golf in my shorts! Very excited about that. Not such a big fan of the pants lol